The Hymn of the "Mad Hatter"

I work in a small office with about four people. It's located in Utah, so everyone is conservative....that is except for me. I try to keep my liberalism on the "down low", but my bright red hair, wild outfits, and loud laugh quickly give me away.

My coworkers tease and call me the "Mad Hatter" from Alice in Wonderland. I would like to think that I don't resemble Johnny Depp with a large frizzy red wig?

Sometimes when we are having our weekly meetings my eccentric side unknowingly comes out.

We were discussing luxury hotels and our experiences and I mentioned that I like to have a custom food service available, the ability to call the concierge, requesting to have a bottle of champagne and strawberries waiting in the room.

A coworker said, " Wow was this when you were married?"

I realize that all of them have only been with one person their entire lives and have gotten married in the temple.

I held back the truth and just nodded. I didn't feel the need to tell them I had on occasion enjoyed flying to New York for the weekend with one of my many past boyfriends.

After the meeting, I started my "to do" list. We had a few light bulbs out in the office and I was tired of working in the dark. So I set some of the antiques and decorations aside so I could reach some of the bulbs. When I moved an old Mormon Hymn book, the owner laughed and said I probably didn't even know what it was.

I quickly replied, "I've been to church and used to sing the hymns every Sunday."

He looked surprised, and asked "Were you raised Mormon?"

I said "Yes." confirming that I was once indeed a Mormon.

He said, " Well how did you feel about going?"

I tartly replied, "Hungry!"

He looked confused. I said whenever I went to church the meetings were so long that all I can remember is feeling hungry. All you had for about five hours was a measly morsel of man-handled sacrament "Wonder" bread.

You think with all those people there would be at least one snack machine in sight. He laughed and I knew he was one of the fellow hungry church goers.

We did have something in common.....food.