Abstraction

One of my paintings that I have been working on....slowly working on.  It seems I have been socializing more than painting lately.  I can't resist getting out and enjoying all the summer concerts.  There is nothing like having a picnic and listening to live music.  This painting I tried just using a palette knife, instead of a brush. Too much fun scraping paint across the rough canvas.

Down in the Trenches

Who is an expert on writing literature reviews?  Apparently not me. I seem to be confusing a research paper with a literature review?  Basically I have to state what the research and literature are saying about the Howard Gardner Theory of Multiple Intelligences.  I'm completely confused.

I think I will drink this weekend and rewrite the whole damn paper.  Or maybe I should drink less?

I am frustrated with the whole "song and dance" of life.  You have to play the game and play by everyone else's rules to get to where you want to be.

I have no desire to learn how to research.  I want to be a teacher.  Not a researcher.  If I'm paying for my education, could I at least have control over what I would like to learn?

Ahhh, venting.  And more venting.  I'll finish the paper and life will go on.  One step at a time.

"To Love Someone More than you Love Yourself". Beautiful scene from Good Will Hunting

Just So Darn Goood Lookin'

My Hand Slammed in the Door. Again.

Okay.  It's 3am and I'm still awake.  So given that's it late (or early) and I'm upset, I must warn you that random ranting and complaining is going to ensue in the next few paragraphs.

Never! And I mean never am I going to date another Ralph (name changed to protect the partially innocent) again. Nada. Huesta lego. This "Ralph" has decided to be a douche bag. For the following reasons, and I quote:

1-"I sense that you would like a relationship, what are your feeling on this?" (I sense this is a setup, if I had balls they would be in a vice right now)

2-"Because I just got out of a relationship, which was a mere seven months ago, I'm not looking for another one." (Bingo, the setup)

3-"There are just too many beautiful women in Utah, most of them crazy, but beautiful.  And I want to be able to date other people." (Hey, I may have exaggerated on the order of the direct quote, but I think I got the jest of it)

He does get two stars for actually laying it all out there in the open.

But I thought for a moment and just smiled and then I walked to my car, unlocked it, and drove away.

I don't want to be with someone if they don't like me enough to spend time with just me.  I'm not going to use my time and energy for someone that doesn't value it.

The whole setup just screams "Hey you aren't good enough, I don't want to settle, so I'm going to keep browsing".  Nothing makes a woman feel sexier.....jeez....%^$&*#

"Never make someone a priority, when you are only an option".

A Change of Energy

Sunlight peaks through the leafs of a tree as I gaze up into its branches.  I'm laying on my back watching the clouds lazily cruise by.  I'm enjoying this long summer day. It's perfect, all except my homework staring defiantly from the blanket where I had tossed the numerous books and notes.  I know I haven't made a dent in my looming research paper.  But I wanted to just sit still for a moment and not think, which is impossible for me.  My mind tends to wander.

As I'm laying on the blanket, a shadow casts over me and I look up to see a large man smiling a toothless grin down at me. I said hello and he said that he felt he should come over and tell me how beautiful I looked laying in the sun.  I said thank you politely and waited for him to leave.  But he didn't, he just stood there smiling, then he suddenly burst into prose, reciting poetry about my purple dress and gold handbag.  I must admit it was surprisingly clever. And as suddenly as the poetry began, it stopped and he quickly sat down on the blanket.  He was a strange and interesting person, wearing an old cowboy hat with black knit exercise clothes.  He saw me looking at his attire and he casually mentioned he wore it to practice karate in the park and when he went classic skating.

Then just like his poetry he loudly stated, "I need to change your energy to something positive."

I became nervous as to what this was going to entail.  I kept insisting that I was fine and thank you, but no thank you!  He didn't seem to hear my protest as he stood up and started clapping around my head, changing my energy.

He finished clapping and quickly sat down again.  He leaned in closer and whispered "God wanted me to come over here and give you a message.  He said "You have lost faith and hope in people. Don't lose hope." And with that he smiled, stood up, and quickly sprinted away, disappearing behind some pine trees.

For some reason his words lingered.

I might have still been in shock.  This strange little man with his strange ways. I have lost hope in people.

In loyalty.

I want to believe this strange, happy, little man.  I'm still searching.........